Thursday, September 5, 2013

Thursday, September 21st, 1989

     The morning after dinner with Kathryn, I was very sick. I couldn’t leave my bathroom for most of the day. I called town hall and explained as quickly as I could that I wasn’t coming in. It was a miserable morning. I felt better as the day went on, but I was so exhausted by then. I forbade Graham from staying over until I was better. The next morning I was still sick. I made it into work later in the day, rationalizing that food poisoning isn’t contagious. I heard Granny was quite offended when I made Graham inspect her restaurant. I knew she’d be even more upset as soon as Sidney’s editorial questioning the sanitation of her establishment would be released the next day. I didn’t take the time to investigate, myself, because I was sick again. I thought I was going to die.
     It was Kathryn who came over to check on me. I insisted I was eating, even though it didn’t stay in me for long. She took me right over to the hospital and we were in a room immediately. A nurse drew my blood and then we waited. Finally, Dr. Whale came in. I expected medicine, but instead he handed me this bit of news:
     “Congratulations, Madam Mayor, you’re pregnant. I’d say about six weeks.”
     “That’s impossible,” came out of my mouth before I could stop it, but it was true. Nothing changes here. I know because I made it that way. Vivian knew this, too. She studied the curse enough to know that nothing new can enter Storybrooke. So how could I be pregnant?
     Dr. Whale offered to do an ultrasound to show me the baby. I didn’t know what crazy hospital magic that was, but I knew it was pointless. This was a trick of the curse to somehow keep everyone else miserable and even if his machine showed something, it wouldn’t be real.
     Kathryn drove me home after the doctor gave me some advice on how to manage my mornings. She was happy, I could tell, but was holding it in. I was not.
     The first thing I did once I was alone in my house was assess the situation. Things don’t change in our lives, but the curse doesn’t stop the world from turning or the sun from setting. It doesn’t stop the tide from coming in and it doesn’t stop a woman from going through what she can go through. Despite knowing the doctor was wrong, I had to admit that my monthly cycle was late by a couple of weeks. Acknowledging that brought doubt into my head. I could go to the drug store and buy a pregnancy test, but the curse might rig those and make it positive for everyone’s benefit. I could use magic to divine whether or not it was true, but that seemed like a waste. Nothing sounded like a good idea except for one thing.
     I drove to the cemetery, went straight down into my safe haven and into Daniel’s room. He was there, quiet in his glass coffin, absolutely perfect. For a moment, I entertained the idea that the doctor had been right, and in that moment I knew that he was. I put my arms on top of the glass, leaned my head against them and cried. I had betrayed my one true love. I never wanted anyone’s children but his.
     The idea of giving birth to a child didn’t upset me. I wasn’t concerned about how my life would change; I was in charge and this town would change with me to accommodate my needs. But still, this wasn’t something that I had planned. I lifted my head, wiped my eyes and looked at the man I’d loved. It occurred to me that I didn’t have to have this child. The thought of using magic entered my mind again. But then I thought of how I was when Daniel knew me verses what I had become after Snow White had taken him away from me. I was not the girl he’d fallen in love with anymore. I had done so much since then; maybe this was a chance at redemption?
     I left my family mausoleum and went home. Graham was waiting for me at the front door.
     “There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” It was almost too dark to see him, so I invited him inside. The lamp light in my living room made it much easier to see his concern. “I heard you’d gone to the hospital.”
     “Yes, I did.” There was no need to dance around it. “Graham, I’m pregnant.”
     “Oh.” Without his heart, it seemed he didn’t know how to react. Graham furrowed his brow and looked as though he was thinking hard about whether he should be happy or upset. “Oh…”
     “I’m going to keep it, but you don’t have to worry about having any responsibility.”
     “What will you do when people ask who the father is?”
     “I’ll make them stop.” I was fine until he asked this. Putting my coat away in the closet suddenly seemed like a good idea. “It’s none of their business. I’m the mayor.”
     “Regina.” He pursued me. “What if I married you?”
     I dropped my coat on the floor. “You don’t have to do that.” I bent down to pick it up off the tile, but Graham was faster than me.
     “I want to be a father to my child as your husband.” He put my coat away and turned to me. “Would you marry me?”
     “Yes.” 

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